Squadron
For the football team, see Squadron FC Squadron '''(officially known as '''The Squadron) are a select group of people who commit their lives to being the most elite group of individuals possible. The tribe's natural call is to shout the name of the group in their native tounge whilst raising the fruits of their sacred beverages. The Meaning Of Life The Meaning Of Life according to The Squadron is a simple, yet effective one. The core squadron (outlined below) are at the centre of life, the universe and everything. They are surrounded by the outer squadron, those not quite prestigious enough to enter the core, but who are relied upon and rely on the core for an enriched life. Everything else can go fuck itself. Cunts. Formation of Squadron It was to be at a'' Squadron Gathering (previously known as ''Gatherings), ''that legend states a fox, a beaver, a sheep and a Dan got together and touched glasses. As they did so, they all spoke simultaneously of 'squadron', a tradition that is held to this day. A cunt was invited, but he was more inclined to hunt a rare species of clunge in his natural habitat of a cupboard. The Cunts Daniel Guy It was predicted that the best weekend of the life of '''Daniel Guy was during his 18th birthday, where he had all his friends around him and could read the page Messages for Dan. John Ellis '''John Ellis '''was born on July 6, 1935 in Taktser, China. At age 15, he assumed political power of Tibet but in the same year, the People's Republic of China invaded. Fearing assassination, he and thousands of followers fled to Dharamsala in northern India, where they established an alternative government. Since then, Ellis has taken numerous actions in hopes of establishing an autonomous Tibetan state within the People's Republic of China. However, the Chinese government has shown no signs of moving towards peace and reconciliation with Tibet. Ellis has also conducted hundreds of conferences, lectures and workshops worldwide as part of his humanitarian efforts. He was awarded the ''Nobel Peace Prize in 1989. In December 2008, he announces his semi-retirement after having gallstone surgery. Will Longman In 2013, '''Will Longman was officially announced All-Round Greatest Human Being in the World ''for the 17th year in a row by the President of Earth ''Murray Hewitt. ''This announcement came as no surprise to the world's media; BBC News said, "With the looks, intellect and humour he has, with a body to match, it is no surprise this supreme man has consistently won this accolade." Andy Boyle After originally turning down the oppurtunity to join the way of life, '''Andy Boyle' was accepted at a later date because he had a car and could drive. An anagram of Andy Boyle is actually Cupboard Rapist. He became famous in Iceland after his hit educational single 'Muffins Are A Solid' reached number 3 in the Icelandic Nu Underground Melodic Rap Charts for 2 weeks. Ollie Markham Oliver Markham '''is a tall guy. He's very tall in fact. However this is very rarely noticed by most people due to his love of sitting down, especially when intoxicated. It is not known why Ollie is attracted so forcefully to chairs, some suggest he apprectiates comfort more than the average man, some say he's just a lazy shit. His record of going 6 months without moving off of his chair is currently being reviewed by the Guinnes World Record Team. Joe Marshall '''Joseph Robert Valentine Marshall is a famous cigarette spokesperson for any cigarette company that the older kids will buy for him. Malboro have approached him to change his surname to Malboro-Marshall for an estimated fee of £4.26. Tom Heritage Tom Heritage '''knows the entire McDonalds menu off by heart. This, and the fact that he can get discounts, has brought him great popularity through life and has now been welcomed into the Squadron and Squadron FC with open arms. Caiti Cullen '''Caiti Cullen, has developed a reputation as a real life Agony Aunt. Whether she likes it or not, it seems she attracts oddballs and misfits who look for her to solve their problems with the faithful assurance that she would never tell another living soul. Nicole Clarke Nicole Clarke became well know in 2012 when she became the poshest, most well spoken person to join the cast of The Only Way Is Essex. She was the highest paid member of the cast as well as the most educated. During this time, she fell into a deep depression due to how shit the programme she starred in was, and this led her to drug addiction. On May 6th 2013, she was arrested at her home on suspicion on the possession and dustribution of cocaine, heroin and marijuana muffins. She was released after stating in court, "It wasn't me." Eleanor Blackley Eleanor 'Noob' Blackley '''is a world class noob. She is known round the world for her World Championship boxing match with Yuslaf the Bear in 1998. It was the third occassion of a toddler boxing a full grown bear. Whilst is it known Ellie lost her arm during this victory, Yuslaf infact had his eyes gauged, lost a foot and had his nose biten off before retreating. She is thought to become the first female to be knighted for services to boxing. Imogen Anderson '''Imogen Anderson (born Uwa Egwuekwe Echiéjilé) was the last slave to be freed from the Boyle Plantation. She was freed by her future fiance John Ellis, and now lives a happy live counting down the 32 years until a contract obliges the couple to be wed. In the meantime, she is currently preparing for the main role in the film Rosa Parks: Zombie Commando. '' James Lee '''James Lee '''is the worlds most successful film director, having directed over 7,000 films over the last 18 years. Amazingly, only 6,000 of those films were pornographic. And only 5,999 starred himself. Becca Smith '''Becca Smith' is a keen follower of a religious cult known as vegetarianism. This extremist movement goes one further than most modern religions and bans all meats from being eaten. Vegetarians claim that their choice is down to respecting animals and nothing else, but then again, Muslims claim they belong to a religion of peace. 8.jpg 381034 10150395745897393 534587392 8333145 377845239 n.jpg Untitled1.png DofE7.jpg DSCF2850.JPG IMG 1876.JPG IMG 1886.JPG IMG 1713.JPG IMG 1589.JPG IMG 1300.JPG IMG 1200.PNG IMG 1177.JPG IMG 1326.JPG IMG 1157.JPG Daniel.PNG IMG_0364.JPG IMG_0994.JPG IMG 2093.JPG IMG 2410.JPG